Rest in peace, little Snapshot.

Flowers

I thought a lot of times, people will send flowers or plants to a funeral, and never see them. So I took pictures of the ones I brought home.

Thank you all so much, they are just beautiful!!

Many of you expressed your gratitude for the blog these past couple of days. Let me tell you, it was nothing. Really. I'm so glad that you all used it and found it worth while. I wish I could have done so much more.

If the arrangement you sent is not pictured, it's because I didn't bring it home with me. They were all gorgeous and it was a knock-down drag-out to see who brought what home. =]

At any rate, for us here in the Nandell house (the younger) it has been the most difficult week. I can't imagine how difficult it will be for Bob in the coming weeks. If you have a free hour, please give him a call. If you're in the West Des Moines area, stop by.

Bob has a standing invitation to come to our house EVERY Thursday night for dinner. Nothing fancy, nothing special. Just come over and spend time.

IOW don't call or come over on a Thursday.

=D

Flower Arrangement from FHLBDM

The card says,

"For Dave Nandell:

May your memories

give you strength.

Your friends,

at Federal Home Loan Bank Des Moines

IT Department"*

*David's employer

Flower Arrangement from Dave and Tracey Foster

The card says,

"With Deepest Sympathy.

Thoughts and Prayers are with you.

Dave and Tracey Foster"*

*David and Heather's next door neighbors.

Flower Arrangement from Doug and Livi

From Doug Nandell and Olivia Gatewood*

*Bob's nephew and niece. Uncle Charlie's Kids.

Flower Arrangement from the Stephens Family

The Card says,

"With Deepest Sympathy.

Donna Stephens,

Rich, Mary & Wade Stephens

Sandra and Family,

Bruce Stephens"*

*Heather's Family

Snapshot

It seems that all this time, little Snapshot the dog, has been holding out to take care of his Mama. Now that she is gone he has taken a quick downhill turn. The poor little fella can barely get around.

Bob is calling the vet on Monday.

You were a good dog, Snappy-doodle. Go run around the great big Barking Lot in the sky.

Diane's obituary

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/dclassifieds?Dato=20100916&Kategori=Obituaries&Class=30&Type=CAT1320&Lopenr=100900396&Selected=15

Diane passed away this morning at 9:01. Her family was with her until the end.

The visitation will be from 5-7pm on Friday Sept. 17, 2010
at McLaren's Resthaven Chapel
801 19th St.
West Des Moines, IA

(see below for map)

The funeral will be held at 10 am on Saturday Sept. 18, 2010
at Grace West Church
6820 Ashworth Road
West Des Moines, IA


View Larger Map



View Larger Map

Nearing a finale....

Both the RN nurse and the health care nurse were here this morning to care for Diane. The compound ointment spread on the skin of the forearm so meds can be used without involving the digestive tract are working well and she is more comfortable. Right now she is nestled in totally clean bedding with a fresh nightie on, and old Snapshot the dog is on the bed 'guarding his momma.'

Friday update

As Diane's condition weakens we are ramping up the home health care nurse visits to every other day to assist in bathing, bedding. Also upgrading meds, particularly for supplies on weekends, which, it seems, is when downturns occur. -

Diane just had an intense 15 minute session of lucidity and happiness. I was able to tear the gate off the bedroom fast, get her into her wheelchair, and not only get her out to the four seasons room but out onto the deck into sunshine and she was able to say hi to Joy Gicoff, our dear neighbor, who was astonished to see her, and it made her day. She got to see her doggies romp in the sunshine, got to see her flowers. Then she got to see what I have done to the living room, kitchen, bathroom. She was so happy to see the pretty kitchen table cleaned off and polished. Then, we got her back into the room and into the bed. She collapsed into my arms, and had a fairly intense early evening (this is the regular time with or without meds) barf, and fell back and drifted into a deep sleep. I will treasure these few precious minutes on a gorgeous autumn day where the cool clean air is drifting through the room, the house smells great, looks great, and for a few precious minutes, Diane, with her hair brushed, one of her prettiest nighties on, and happy, was able to see her house, her dogs, her garden. We may not get another chance like this, so I made the most of it. She smiled. Just seeing her smile for the first time in days was a gift this day from the Lord to me, and through my despair of the situation gives me the grit to keep on doing what I have been doing. She deserves nothing less.

Sunday

Update: Sunday. David and his family were here today to see Diane. Fortunately David's boys were able to get our Basenji dogs to go out in the backyard and run off some steam. They think they're a bit forlorne because Bob doesn't have time to give them adequate pet-pet time.

Unfortunately Diane has had a bad afternoon with some repeated bouts of nausea.

She is finally resting comfortably now into the evening. She is quite exhausted from the day.

Heather's update:

Senator Charles Grassley called while we were there. He was concerned about Diane. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Thursday Update from Bob

Diane has reached another turning point in her battle with the cancer, according to the attending Mercy Hospice nurse. She got a nice hair shampoo and in-bed bath today from the home health-care nurse. It appears that our time is growing short.

Tuesday Update..........

Diane is having serious nausea problems that are no longer covered by the meds. However the addition of an in-home health nurse today meant she got a nice in-bed bath, and some good sanitary care. It also gave me a chance to run to Walgreens to replenish wipes, paper towels, etc.

She is now resting comfy for the night....I hope.

One of Diane's favorite people from our church, Parvin Veach, stopped by late afternoon. They had a great chat. Diane is quite a bit weaker now. Home health aide will come Tuesday along with the regular hospice nurse. Is resting comfy at the moment listening to country-western music (her favorite).

Saturday Update

we are upgrading the in-home hospice care this coming week by having a hospice nurses' aide come in tue. and thur. to bathe and assist Diane. This is in addition to having the regular hospice nurse come every morning. We are now to weak to get into the shower, etc., so this is a necessity. If need be, the nurses' aide will be availble to come every week day. We are resting comfortably so far this morning, thanks in part to the wonderful fresh air pouring in the windows.

Wednesday Update:

mom had a good visit this afternoon with one of her favorite church ladies, Marlys Foster, who runs the eyeglasses place at Merle Hay. She straightened the bow on the one side of mom's red glasses. Also brought her a pretty cross for the wall. Has been sleeping soundly since, along with old Snapshot the dog, who is nestled by her side. The good afternoon makes up for a slightly rocky morning.

Monday's update

Diane is very tired today. Slept away most of the afternoon. Spent some time around suppertime out in our living room. Has been fast asleep back in bed since then. Nausea under control for most of the day.

Saturday Update

After kind of a rough night things have settled down a bit. Tried just a few sips of milk this a.m. So far so good. Sponge bath in order after she sleeps for a while longer.

Thursday Evening

We are resting this evening.

Slept almost all afternoon.

The combination of meds is helping the nausea.

She is simply very tired.

Almost no liquid intake today at all

Update for Thursday

Quite exhausted. Yesterday was busy with a few visitors. Nausea still not completely controlled. much restlessness in the night.

a different form of anti-nausea medication is helping the situation. Diane still cannot eat and has limited fluid intake. She is able to rest a bit better.

Sunday Update

Sorry I haven't posted updates for a couple of days. Time just gets away from you sometimes. Here is Bob's update for Sunday:

t was such a beautiful morning that I was able to get Diane into her transport chair and we sat out in the 4-seasons room marveling at the light coming through the trees and the coolness coming through the room.

I was also able to get her hair washed and a bath. She is now resting well. She hasn't been able to eat or drink anything this morning, but does not care.

Thursday Update

Darci and her two girls stopped by today and Diane and I both got haircuts. Diane's blond hair is still nice and blond. It was a great visit. Made her tired, but was great. Also, an old Register friend, Carol McGarvey, stopped by. It was great to see her again after so many years. It has been a good afternoon, even with a few brief bouts of nausea.

Wednesday Update

Diane woke-up early with nausea, but then that subsided. The hospice nurse came at 9:00.

we are adjusting a couple of medications. Diane is now sleeping soundly after having a nice hot shower. Some church folks are going to visit later this p.m., and Dr. Angel might stop by after his hospital rounds. Otherwise, we are hoping for a quiet day.

No update for Monday

...other than to say the hospice nurse had a hard time getting there this morning, as every single street into West Des Moines was flooded. That was one heck of a lightning show last night and 5+ inches of rain!! Holy moly!

On the Road Again

Bob wanted to take Diane for a Jeep ride today. They drove over to their church just as services had let out, so they got to say hello to some friends.

And a few more....

One of these days, I will figure out how this whole blogger thing works, and post captions under each photo. I'm still learning, bear with me.

More photos

Some old timey photos

Bob gave me several envelopes of old (I mean OLD) photos (!!) These are a few that I thought were just too adorable not to share. My Mom and I looked at them on Thursday after visiting Diane....She thought that young Diane looks amazingly like Samantha. I think there are a couple pictures where she looks exactly like Andrew.

Saturday Update from Bob

after lots of visitors yesterday, Kara and her children and their new dog "Oreo', and my sister Jeanette and her husband stopping by, both of us were tired. It made for a good, long night sleep. Even the dogs were tired. We all slept until almost 8:00 a.m. this morning. One of our best nights yet. Diane has had a nice shower, some banana pudding, and is watching her favorite Fox news business shows. - bob

Sorry I haven't posted an update...

Today my Mom (Mary Stephens) and I stopped by. I've got to say, Diane seemed so much better. We were there for at least an hour, she was awake the whole time. She was totally 'with it' and up to date with current events.

I think because she's been getting more rest and keeping food down, she has a bit more energy. She did say she was up 3 times during the night, but that's really a good thing, because that means her kidneys are working properly!!

Keep praying!! It's working!

I have some more pictures to post - Old Timey pictures! I'll post them tomorrow.

Stronger

we have had a pretty good morning. she was a bit stronger this a.m. so I got her into the shower, got her cleaned up. she's been able to hold down milk, water, and pills. Decided to take advantage of a good morning and get done all we can. she is now resting comfy again.

I thought I'd post my own update today since I had gone over to hang out with Diane while Bob mowed the back yard.

She seemed pretty good to me. She was awake and smiling. I asked her if she'd like to me to sit with her or just leave her alone, she shrugged her shoulders as if to say, "yeah, if you want to..."

BUT, by the time I got back in there, she was asleep so I stayed out in the living room.

Update from Bob

Hi: just thought you'd like to know we had a peacefull night. she watched tv until about 1:00 a.m. and then slept straight through until I got up with the dogs at 7:10. Is much more comfy with the wedge thing for the bed.

From Jeannie McCall

Hi, Heather! Having known Diane since 1967 when she joined the family on March 25 (I was the guest book attendant! I felt so important!!), I have MANY, MANY fond memories of my wonderful sister-in-law! Bob & Diane's wedding was the only one that my Dad lived long enough to see. Since my Dad was already deceased (April 22, 1969, when I was only 14), Bob & Diane would invite me to spend time with them in Milwaukee during the summers so I could have some freedom from my over-bearing Mom and Grandmother (who lived with us after having a stroke). Summers in Wisconsin were WONDERFUL TIMES!! In fact, I was in Milwaukee at their apartment when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon!! We stayed up and watched the television coverage, and ate pizza, and made a party of it! What a great accomplishment for America!! KJ was just about 18 months old or so, and each morning she would wake me up by throwing toys out of her crib at me (I slept in her room on a cot)! And summers in Milwaukee were not complete without a trip to the Milwaukee Zoo - we'd put KJ (as we called her then!) in a stroller, and head out and walk as much as we could, and ride the train around to various locations. It was a hoot!! The little Ford Maverick got a workout each summer!

The summer Diane was expecting David (1971), I went to Milwaukee and stayed the whole summer, as Diane needed lots of rest and couldn't do house cleaning, vacuuming, laundry (which was down in the basement), etc. So, I did whatever Diane asked me to do as far as housework and laundry and dishes, and helped with some cooking, and we had a great summer only without as much walking around and "playing," but we still had fun! KJ and I BOTH got brown as Indians as we played in the wading pool almost every day! It was a wonderful summer, and I was so glad to help out so she could carry David to term. (I believe the house was on 63rd Street, or something like that! It's just been too long ago!!) One time they even took me out to a stable in one of the suburbs, and I got to go on a trail ride for about an hour while they just waited!! Diane was just so wonderful to me, and made sure we all got to have a good time. We all went to the Disney movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" at adrive-in theatre in one of the suburbs, too - I believe it was Menominee Falls. Those outdoor theatres don't even exist anymore!

God gave me a fantastic sister-in-law (who was more like a sister!) who showed me what it was like to be a good wife & mother, and I have always looked up to her for putting up with me, and treating me so well when I was a bratty little teenager. Once we moved from Norwalk over to Eastern Iowa, it was harder to stay in touch, but we did. Just wish this whole thing wasn't happening, and we could have had more time with Diane. Glad Bob retired early from the DM Register so they could travel and enjoy time with each other.

So, there are a few memories - I could fill pages and pages!!

Love,

Jeannie McCall

Sunday

By the time Dave's family arrived Sunday afternoon, Diane was exhausted. She came out to the couch for less than 5 minutes, told us to go home so she could go to bed. Dave was so disappointed he couldn't have spent more time with his Mom.

Just received an update from Bob:

" I think it is fortunate you were able to be here today and be
able to speak with her. It seems that we have crossed some kind of
line this afternoon.. She is simply no longer with us. I think we have
entered the next phase of this battle."

I was able to grab a few old photos to post. The new header photo is of Diane when they were on their honeymoon. Leave it to Bob to take his new wife to a brewery! (circa 1967)

Regarding the family photos, one is from circa 1980, the other one doesn't have a date on it, and Dave has no idea.

Please sign the guest book.

Photo Therapy Session

A Request

I had this idea tonight, to ask those of you who check in frequently, to post a memory or two that you share with Diane.

I don't know if you have noticed this, but if you scroll WAY down to the bottom of this website, there is a counter. From this I can see who is visiting this website. It doesn't tell me who you are, but it just gives a city and a state. (and not for everyone, a lot of times it just says "unknown." But I've got Millboro, Stafford and Burke, Virginia: Rudd, St. Charles, Cedar Rapids, Huxley, West Des Moines, Knoxville, Iowa: Lincoln, NE...+ others.

I don't know who you all are, but you obviously know Diane. It's impossible for any of us to know the extent that our lives have reached, or the influence we've had over those we've known.

But if you wouldn't mind, and if you could make your memories public, please send them to hnandell@gmail.com. I will post them as is, I will not edit them. If you have a picture to go along, that's even better.

And PLEASE sign the guest book! All you have to do is click on the small blue words, "leave a response" and then fill in the blanks. If you have a comment for any of the photos, just click on "comment" and fill it in.

Bob and Diane check the website frequently and look forward to your comments.

God Bless,

Heather

Saturday Update from Bob

The hospice nurse told me to quit trying to make her eat stuff. if she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. If she decides she wants something and we don't have it, run over and get some. don't worry about how much she does or doesn't eat.

The idea of the other hospice nurse to have one pill sooth the duodenal ulcer followed by one to coat the stomach to prevent nausea ( a so called one-two punch) for the greater part is working. yay.

The hospice people mentioned that as things progress they may change to a pain med. that is not 'stomach reliant.'

The Fentanyl patch was upped from a 12 to a 50 every 72 hours.

The hospice nurse today told me to get the hell out of here for an hour every so often so I don't get overly whacked out about every cough and every sound. While Kara and Phil and their urchies were here I did the grocery shopping so was gone for almost an hour.

We also changed her scenery.

We got her into one of her new zipper dresses and got her out to the couch. The dogs love it.

The Basenjis are sleeping at her feet. They very very happy.

I have my computer out here with me.

I asked diane if she wanted anything. all she said was 'just sit here.

so, here we are.

two old swans. one on the couch, one in the chair, fox news on the tv, sun going down behind the pretty trees across the street. I wouldn't trade the moment for a million bucks.

love you all - dad

A Good Night

we were sitting out on the couch for awhile talking, huddled together like a pair of old swans. I treasure that moment. This morning we did the one-two punch. pill for duodenum first, then anti-nausea, then some vanilla pudding. so far so good. if she can keep that down, and then follow with a few sips of milk we may have a good day start. She kept her 4:00 a.m. hydrocodone down with water. The dogs gave us a helluva break. they slept in until 8;00.
thanks again for coming down here yesterday. although i didn't have time to play with my old minimilitary junk with my little men, it was great to see them and have them around. good guys.
love-dad

Today we met with the hospice nurse, Jennifer, and the Mercy social worker, Nancy. They were both very nice. Jennifer called in a prescription for a couple new nausea meds that will hopefully work better than the two current ones. (Through hospice, these two meds cost $.54/each. A lot better than the $1000. pills that weren't working!)

She also ordered a wedge pillow so it will be easier for Diane to sit up in bed and might also help with the nausea. Bob asked her to come over twice a week for now. Hospice offers a lot of different services that can be added as needed. The nurse will come again on Saturday morning.

Saturday afternoon, Kara and family will be down for some "photo-therapy." (which means sitting around looking through photos) You can't even imagine how many boxes (and boxes and boxes) of photos there are!!

David's family will do the same on Sunday.

Friday will be a rest day for both Bob and Diane.

Please remember to sign the guest book! Thanks. =]

Hospice

Going over soon to be there when the hospice nurse arrives. Will post an update when I get home.

International

We've had visitors from Stockholm, Sweden and Australia!

Please be sure to sign the guest book! Thanks!

Here we go again

From Bob:

we will have consultation with oncologist at 11:30 next Wed. Aug. 4. IF there is a chance for mild chemo decision at that time will be made. Dr. said he does not want to do harm. If chemo would do more harm, or risk infection, will not be done.

No chemo today

There is a blood test that has not come back yet, so they are not doing chemo today. Dr told Bob there wasn't any point in doing it anyway.

????

Aren't doctors great?

Update from Bob

update
don't have time to write much. we're waiting for call from dr. hettinger himself.
we may not have a chemo appt. today.
the one cell type test (usually takes 10-12 days to get back) is not back..
preliminary blood tests on samples from week ago wednesday are indicating that chemo may do more harm than good at this advanced stage.
they are afraid that chemo could possibly trigger infection since immune system already weak.
nurse called 15 min. ago when I had her in shower.
dr. himself supposed to call any moment.
at this point we don't know if were gonna have an appt. today at all.
is chance that could have chemo appt. next wed. if tests indicated okay to use the one drug.
we're at a critical point here.
will let you know instant we're done talking to doc.
will let you know if we still have an appt. today for consultation.
weight is holding at 143. same as July 25.
is becoming a bit more groggy. unsteady on feet at times to and from bathroom.
stay in touch'

From Dixon and Marlene Marsh

We are totally shocked in hearing the news. We'll be praying for you daily.

Dixon and Marlene

From Bob

The nausea is becoming worse, she is down to just straight milk, ice water, and an occasional HyVee vanilla pudding cup. The two anti-nausea pills together work only some of the time. The crucial thing is to be able to get her six-hour Hydrocodone pain pill down and kept down. I called the office and they said don't worry about the other meds., do what it takes to get the Hydrocodone down.

She starts what they call Palliative Chemo tomorrow (Wednesday.) Palliative is a type of chemotherapy that is given specifically to address symptom management without expecting to significantly reduce the cancer.

The Mercy social worker and hospice nurse will come Thursday morning.

Submitted by Mary Stephens

So far we've had visitors from Leasburg, MO; Huxley, IA; Chicago, IL; Des Moines, IA; Whitewater, WI; Rudd, IA; Cedar Rapids, IA and Mountain View, CA.

(Not all locations show up, so don't worry if your city/state is not listed.

Fourth of July Parade 1998

From Bob

new nausea pill is working. she wanted watermelon. i ran and got her some. so far so good.

she is down to 143 pounds. That's down seven from last Wed. when we went to the oncologist.

Oncologist said to expect that. It is typical at this stage of things.

From Bob: we are in process of getting another anti-nausea drug if we can get the nurse, who is right now at an out-of-town clinic, connected with our pharmacy. Otherwise she is resting okay this morning.

Submitted by Kara Berg

Submitted by Kara Berg

Submitted by Kara Berg

Submitted by Kara Berg